2021 #1

 It has been a while. A long while. A quick update.

It has been 2 years since I left my first career sector, Early Childhood Educator. Stepping out because of personal commitment initially. But I guess, it was also a break because I know I am becoming a ticking time bomb that could go off anytime. I know at that point, those who have been providing me with space and light have done what they could so I can be better.

There's nothing else they could do if I do not want to be help. Stepping away from the sector was probably 1 thing I think I did right. Because the sector is already overwhelming, it will not be helpful if one keeps taking leaves. Because the children are innocent and they should not be left without a teacher.

Right now, I am at a better place with a better headspace. I know I still miss teaching and I will come back again. Not 2021 for sure but I will. Thank you for giving me the space. Meanwhile, please take care and stay safe. :)

2020 #1

It has been 3 years since I last updated here. 3 years past rather quickly but the 3 years was rather painful and tiring. 3 years and I'm still coping with grief. I wouldn't dare say I gotten over it but I a, still trying. I miss every single bit of grandpa but I can no longer bring him back.

I left PCF last year and went on a youth exchange program with a wonderful bunch. It was a great 8D8N with them. It was also my very first overseas trip without someone I am close with. But I made it! Last year, before I left PCF, I saw my very first K2 children graduate! They made me proud despite everything.

2020 came but all our life was changed quite a bit because of Covid-19. I went from a preschool teacher to an office lady. Covid-19 was a year where staying home is the new norm. 2020 is also the year where we had our general election. This time, I committed to walk the ground with Team Fengshan. No doubt it was tiring but we did it! The serving never end..

Will try to be here as much as possible. Till the next post, take care!

2017 #3

1 more day to grandpa leaving for 4 months. i still miss him like loads. grandpa, are you missing grandma? or you feel that the family is starting to neglect her? is that why she tripped and fell? but grandpa, grandma isn't as strong as you. please look after her alright?

2017 #2

it has been 87 days since grandpa left. 100th day is coming. am i ready to 'bring' him back? i don't know either. grandpa's departure have been like a white elephant in the house. nobody really spoke how are we feeling towards it.

i have left the society university for 3 months plus. but the few months wasn't entirely wasted because i have been back in the constituency volunteering.

PAssionArts Festival 2017 was one of the few i have been involved. but PAssionArts was slightly more stressful because i have been put in charge. im thankful for the wonderful volunteers that came forward to offer their help. it may not be the best of the events here but i must say it was a success.

i shall end 2017 #2 here because i lost the feel to update. :P till the next post, take care!

2017 #1

It has been a long while since i last posted. Popped by around to update the wishes and memories.

2017 hasn't been much a great year. ah gong has been fighting his battle since last year. grandma was down too last year but she's better. whereas for grandpa, he fought his battle strongly but sadly, he lost this battle and left us on 19may. the last days before he left was pretty much painful to see and remember.

18may, he had a request and it was to visit his workplace and they allowed it. he was so happy there. getting him ready for the visit was painful to see. seeing a man who was all fitted and strong. who walked the stairs home everyday could not get himself out from the room to living room. that few seconds thing have became a few mins thing. requiring 2-4 pple inside helping him out. that few mins that he was away from the oxygen machine got him breathless. like very breathless. all of us kept our tears in. that night was the hardest because he struggled with heat in the room. the next day,

19may, mum woke me up in a calm but yet panic tone. she asked me to come over. i was about to start on my brunch and the hospice team came. they asked if all the family members are here because he is going. talk to him and he still can hear all of you. all of us broke down in tears and started talking and gathering everyone. and upon the arrival of everybody and hearing from all of us, he grasps for his breathe slowly and soon he took his last breathe and he left.

he left when i wasn't watching. holding onto his cold hands, i sat down beside him to accompany. the funeral team came and pick him up so to doll him and make him all handsome again. the wrapping him up and bringing him away broke us all down again. my first goodbye that i will not meet again. maybe we'll meet again and the other side but that's going to take a while.

it has been more than a month and it's almost the 49th day.
"How are you ah gong? Please watch over ah ma too although we promise to take care of her too. I miss you ah gong."

I'll stop 2017 #1 here because it's too overwhelming.. Meanwhile, take care!