today is SSA 40th anniversary concert and NDP preview for many people.

many things happen in the weeks that past. i really at the lost of wat i should do. i felt damn sad since thursday. it was a sadness that even my real mother could not even cause that on me. this person who is taking care of me not all the time but minority but i very ting ta de hua. wo ting ta de hua more than i ting wo de real mother de hua.

to the person who i very ting hua:
i am very sorry to disappoint you but i really do not dare to take up this challenge. i really dun have the courage to.

i think im doing something real stupid. that person will never come here to read. no point writing but maybe miracle will happen. ah!!! now im left with 1 hour to the time i am suppose to report at ICA but i dunno if i should really go not. i want to go but i dunno how to face ta. ah!!!!!!! i really hope to have some1 who really knows how i am feeling to pei me now. am i really going to wear a 'mask' to go up the stage today? ah!!!!!!!!!!!

im lost.